datapad
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
there is no emotion; there is peace. you know what... but nevermind. we should all strive to be happy; because ultimately, that's all that we're made for. but what makes us happy? how do we be happy? many things make me happy, some more than others. right now, the thing that i think would make me happiest of all, in time to come, would be complete understanding. but why? in truth, i do not know. all i know is that it is the answers that i seek, it is the answers that drive me, it is the answers that can provide me with any measure of true and lasting happiness, regardless of what kind of answers they are. and why is that so? because answers make me happy. but why? because the greater understanding i have, the greater power i have, and thus, the greater control i will have? perhaps. but why would control make me happy? because, with ultimate control, i'll even be able to control my own happiness? by controlling all the factors that could possible contribute to my happiness, be they minor or major, i'd be able to make myself completely and perfectly happy? but is ultimate control ever possible? is perfect happiness ever possible? no. then hey, what's the point? why not let's all be totally submissive and let us gain happiness from the total lack of control? sorry, i'm just not made that way. no other way to explain it. so i'm just a control freak, then? well, if you think about it in abstract terms, perhaps so. ultimately, the only reason for my continued existence is happiness. the only way to increase my happiness is through controlling of many factors that determine happiness. the most efficient way of increasing control is through understanding. and i should always pick the most efficient way, because my lifespan is limited and i want to achieve the maximum possible happiness in the minimum possible time. why do i want to achieve the maximum possible happiness? because i am just made to want to achieve the maximum possible happiness, period. it would be, i guess, a rather selfish way of what many would choose to define as a "fulfilling life". but then again, who isn't selfish? everybody is, for selfishness is the only means through which happiness can be obtained. the only difference that matters is your personal definition of "sense of self". hm.. i guess if it were possible for someone to expand his sense of self to encompass the entire universe, then he would be in effect controlling everything, and he would be ultimately happy. oh, and as an added bonus, he could be considered as "selfless" at the same time, because if his "self" is everything.. it doesn't really make much sense to even define his "self" as something that is seperated from the external world, is there? nope, there isn't. which kinda explains why the jedi think that selflessness is the way to go. because ultimate selflesness would result in ultimate happiness which would result in one becoming one with the Force. but that's kinda paradoxical, cos if the Force is everything (ok i know that according to star wars canon it isn't supposed to be everything, but i choose to redefine it as energy, which is everything so don't argue), then once he expands his sense of self to encompass everything, he would already be one with the Force and be completely happy at the same time. yeah, so no real causal link there... once you are one with the Force, you will be completely happy. cool, so now i've discovered the secret to being completely happy. but then again, that is indeed rather hard to do. and i am just some stupid nubcake. so i think, for all practical reasons, i should just concentrate on increasing my understanding first before i even start on expanding my notion of the self. yeah... there is no ignorance; there is knowledge. there is no death; there is the Force. but sometimes, one just feels like giving up. oh well. at least you'll succeed in a parallel universe, eh? |